19.01.11, Wednesday

Oh god!

I dont wan in this timing the feelings is fading away,

is ain't a good reason for myself too.

Screw me!!

I did't text him with the lovey dovey msg for 3 days edy,

and i did't even think of it.

IS THAT A BAD SIGN?

I hope is not.

Can I just remain the sweetness that we been through?

after that incident,

somehow____its different now.

But I kept my promise towards him,

and I wont do something silly too.

Just that, when times comes,

I need to be alone for a moment,

go somewhere far and peaceful ( I'M NOT GONNA COMMIT SUICIDE ) =)

but you are still the best boyfriend I ever meet.

PS: I just dunno where to express all this shits out again,

So, I choose to write everything in the blog.=)

04.01.2011, Tuesday

I'm Lost somewhere,which I have no clue where?

Directions of life,

relationship between my family?

I have many second thoughts,

sometime I wan to continue my studies in Taylor's,

sometime I will rather work to earn my own living,

seriously..I really dunno what exactly I wan for myself.

You can call me stupid , You can call me idiot,

You even can laugh out loud, you can also say I'm not facing any challenges in life.

I admit everything above.

One more important thing that I need to highlight,

till now, I never have the courage and urge to tell my boyfriend,

what is going on with me,

I still cant share my feelings to him.

DO NOT SAY I DON'T LOVE HIM OR NOT BELIEVING HIM.

He is the awesome boyfriend ever. But....it seems like that's a gap when

I really wanted to express all kind of shits to him,

Maybe I rather keep things into myself.

( 10months I'm still acting like this, I'm sorry baby )

To Mrs M.

Can you please be a supportive guardian please,

to be frank, I'm quite envy to those has a awesome mum.

sometime when I see my friends having a awesome mum, my hearts start to have this sour feelings,

and also the envy feelings come out too.

Even my boyfriend's mum is cool and open minded.

and most importantly___she is supportive towards the son actions. "of cause the good ones" LMAO.

I wan to have a sweet new beginning, but it seems like,

is ruin.

I can tell my 2011 is ain't a easy year for me.

That's all for today, like it or not

the choice is yours.

YOU ALL MOST WELCOME TO PRESS THE " CROSS BUTTON" ON TOP OF YOUR RIGHT.

thank you.